Observations From A Candy Dish

Is anyone else in love with these?

I'm truly amazed that I am not grossed out by the fact that eating one of these simulates eating a raw egg.



Check out the insides, there's yellow yolk and everything.







I mean, that's a future baby chick folks. You're eating a future baby chick! How does that not gross people out?



I don't know why but I love them, especially when the insides are extra runny. The more it resembles a real egg, the better. Why is that NOT disturbing to me?



Oh, and don't get me started on these:







These are TO. DIE. FOR.



I like to keep a little candy dish on top of my desk at work. I try to change my candy bowl to match each season of the year so right now, being the season of Easter Bunnies & eggs, I have a darling pink Easter basket full of pastel colored candy.







And as a bonus I have to have a small bowl of the mini cadburry eggs on my desk at all times.







This is the only way I can get people to come visit me. You see, I like to pretend I'm popular, but really everyone knows the only reason I get visitors is because of my candy dish. It's actually pretty funny how people feel like they need an excuse to come into my office when their sole purpose is to satisfy their nagging sweet tooth.



"Um hey, so, uh...doooo you know where Matt is?" A coworker stammers, making the words up on the spot.



"Why no, I don't know where Matt is but hey! While you're here, why don't you have some candy?" I reply, not taking my eyes off of my computer screen.



"Well, since you asked..." He grins as he partakes.



Dude, why would I know where Matt is? Wait, who the hell is Matt? Does a Matt even work here?



And then there's the people that come and steal handfuls of candy at a time and say the same joke every time they do so.



"You are in so much trouble. Darnit, you're doin it again, you're just trying to make us all fat!" A coworker says while filling his pockets with chocolate.



"Ha ha ha. Yep, you got me. That's my evil plan." I reply. For the hundredth time.



And then there's the big boss dude. You know, the boss of your bosses boss? He comes to browse through my selection but never takes anything. For the life of me I can't figure out what kind of candy this man likes! My ultimate goal is to please him.



Seriously, every time I buy candy I stand in the grocery isle staring at the array of bright colored bags of sugar thinking...hmmmm...what would big boss dude like?



I have yet to figure this out and every time I ask him what he would prefer, all he says is "Oh I like anything!"



No. Obviously you don't, because you never take anything. Come on big boss dude, I feel like a failure here!



Oh, and if I am absent for a day from work?



Forget about it.



The candy is gone when I come back the next day. It's amazing how fast the candy can go when there's nobody in the office to notice that you've already taken 10 handfuls.



It just makes me laugh. I really don't care how much candy you take, that's what the candy is there for! Oh people, they always feel like they need to justify themselves.



And then there's me.



I make absolutely sure that nobody is anywhere near the proximity of my office before I snag a piece of candy FROM MY OWN STASH.