Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

As many of you know I'm an accountant for a Gold Mining Company.


I love my job.


My boss is extremely laid back and lets me do my work without standing over my shoulder watching everything I do (which is what my old boss did). I even got two promotions from Staff Accountant to Consolidation Analyst to Senior Accountant. Usually an accountant either has to have a master's degree to become a Senior Accountant or has to be with the company for 5 years.


I only have a bachelors degree and I have only been with the company 4 years, but I was still promoted to a Senior Accountant. Now I'm not trying to brag here, I just need to lay out the background for you before I tell you that I had nothing to do with these promotions.


How did I get promoted? The only explanation I can think of is my husband. Every big wig at my work absolutely loves my husband. He goes golfing with them all the time and they enjoy their male bonding time drinking beer on the golf course.


I don't blame them, my husband is a charmer and seems to get along with just about anybody. Or at least he can fake it pretty well.



Now I suck at golf. I'm lucky if I can hit the ball in one swing so I definitely can't go golfing with the guys every Friday. Of course the fact that I don't have a penis is a big factor too. So I'm not the one out there networking and "getting in good" with the big wigs, it's my husband.


The one with the penis.


So it's fine with me that everyone likes him, but hey, I'M the one that does all the work, but he's the one who gets all the benefits. What's up with that?


Well, every year my company has a golf tournament at The Homestead Resort. Everyone in the office looks forward to this event and for months afterward, the tournament is still the topic of conversation.



It's a big deal with tons of swag given to us before we play, and dinner afterwards with a raffle that has really great prizes. And of course prizes for the winners of the tournament.


Now I don't golf but I do at this tournament, it's pretty much the one time a year I golf. The tournament is a scramble so luckily I don't have to be good because we take the best ball each time and with my husband on the team, I'm pretty safe.


When we arrived everyone was like "Hey Alex! How are you? Who is this person you brought with you?" Um, hello, it's me the one who actually works for you! Of course they are just kidding but still, you get the picture. HE'S the one they want to see.



This year we were paired up with a fellow accountant and his brother who are both great golfers!



We didn't win, but we did tie for second place coming in 7 under! And of course I had nothing to do with that score.



At one point the golf course got backed up. When I say backed up, I mean worse then when Dooce has constipation which is all the time. So not only were we waiting for the people in front of us to finish but the group behind us was waiting too.

Of course the carts behind us had to include the President of the company, who also loves Alex more then me, and of course he had to be watching when I got up to the tee and missed the ball about 10 times before I finally was able to hit the ball about 10 feet in front of me. Of course Alex helped by saying,


"You know Bob is watching you don't you? You better not mess up!" (not his real name by the way)


So embarrassing! I was surprised Bob (not his real name) didn't fire me right there on the spot. But then again, Alex was there so I was safe.



So you see, I love my job and I love the people I work with, but not as much as they love Alex.


Alex, Alex, Alex!


That's all I ever hear!