I Was Going to Title This Post "ALOHA", But I Know Some of You Don't Speak Hawaiian. So I Didn't.

We have now safely returned from Hawaii. I wish I could say the same for one certain piece of luggage but that's a whole other story.


Holy Jeebus I don't even know where to start. The Hawaii trip was a Christmas gift from Alex's parents, the whole family went and stayed for a week on Maui. We stayed at a gorgeous house in Lahaina, here are a few photos of the place we stayed.






The view from the house:



This was a trip full of surprises. My mom-in-law surprised us by getting everyone first class tickets for the flight! Not only that but she also gave us all Bose headsets to watch movies and listen to our ipods with. (And I was in desperate need of a new headset, score!)


Now I know why they say "first class is the only way to fly." You don't have to wait in that awful long line to get through security and you get to board the plane first. When you sit down the first thing they do is give you a Mai Tai, and then another, and another. I asked Al if they paid the flight attendants who worked in first class extra because they all were just so happy to help you.


Weird.


I totally soaked it up because I knew it would be the one and only time I would fly first class. I kind of felt like Jack in Titanic, you know trying to fit in with Rose and all the elite? Only I didn't spit off the side of the boat. Because we weren't on a boat. And well, I don't know how to hock a loogie.


Ok got a little side tracked there, where was I?


Oh yeah, Hawaii. It rocks. I want to live there. Forever.


And Ever.


Cris surprised us again by getting us all lei'd when we stepped off the airplane at 4 in the morning.





You'd think it'd be awkward all getting leid at the same time but it was so late we were all okay with it. (Hey, I know the whole "getting leid" joke has been done many times before but I still think it's funny, and that's all that counts. Sorta. Ok I suck I should have just left it alone but now I've gone on too long and totally ruined the whole joke. Good God will someone just shut me up?)


While at the house, the majority of our time was spent throwing children.





When not throwing children, we were at the beach. On our first day at the beach we were all minding our own business, the kids playing in the water, the girls wading on the shore, and the guys snorkeling in the ocean.






(For the record, Cris was NOT picking her nose. At least that's what she tells me.)


Like I said, minding our own business.


At the time I was laying on my towel reading a book, you know, minding my own business.


So we were all minding our own business, nobody's business but our own, when I see in the corner of my eye some strange old man walking my direction.


In my head I'm thinking, "Please keep walking, please keep walking, please keep walking" but guess what he did?


He kept walking.


No, he didn't keep walking, why would I bring him up if he just walked by? He stopped right next to my towel and said, "Excuse me?"


Annoyed, I look up and see him holding out some coral in one hand and a rolled cigarette in the other. (Identical to some illegal substance that one might roll up and smoke, or cook into brownies. Or so I hear.) He started blabbing to me about how the coral was clean and dry and was already dead so I couldn't get into trouble for taking it home.


He hands it to me and I'm not sure what to do. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I walk over and show the kids the coral, pretending to be fascinated by it, and then I hand it back to Crazy Weed Dude.


He tells me to keep it, I'm like, okay thanks, and I put it on a towel by our stuff.



I expected Crazy Weed Dude to walk away but he doesn't. He approaches me and Rachael mumbling something totally incoherent so we just brush him off and he leaves.


Finally, he's gone!


Oh but he wasn't gone. He walked into the ocean to swim for a bit but stayed near by.



After his little dip in the ocean, he comes back and approaches Rachael again, this time she understands what he says. He asks her if he can use the kids' bucket and she politely says no, the kids are using it. He then explains that the reason he gave us the coral was in exchange for him to use our bucket.


What? Crazy Weed Dude just won't quit and we start thinking that maybe he's trying to distract us while his accomplice steals all of our stuff from the beach. So just to be safe, I walk back to my towel and grab my bag, when I turn back around I see this:



Somehow Crazy Weed Dude managed to get the coveted bucket. We all watched while he taught the kids how to use the sand and water to drip onto the sand castle and make strange looking peaks.



And of course we all stayed close and watched him (and our stuff) like a hawk while he interacted with the kids. We were all just humoring the guy because he clearly wasn't "all there".


About that time we decided to pack up, leaving the crazy son of a bitch by himself.


I left the coral behind, lying on the beach, and I'm sure he used it on some other poor family to get into their bucket too.


When we weren't being accosted on the beach, we were kickin back with Buddha.


(Sorry bad phone pictures)



When we weren't with Buddha, we were getting lei'd (yes, again) at the Luau.





This is Albert's usual face after getting lei'd:



And yes, I am really that white and Alex is really that tan. I hate him.




And while the dancers were doing this:



Ava was doing this:





She is quite the dancer (and no she did not learn this from me, I only teach pole dancing, not Hula Striptease). When Rachael asks Ava if she wants to do dance or gymnastics, Ava says she wants to do "fighting" instead.


Yes, fighting.


And with two older brothers, she has plenty of fighting experience! But she is also such a girly girl. She wanted her toe nails painted almost every day. She'd bring me my nail polish bag and tell me that she needed her toe nails painted again. Of course I was happy to oblige.

(These two pics courtesy of Cris)


I love this girl.




If you're actually still reading this I will now put you out of your misery. Stay tuned for more Hawaii including magic tricks on a boat, sharks, sea turtles & a 5 foot 10 inch praying mantis!


And best of all, Albert's awesome fishy face.


You DO NOT wanna miss that. Promise.