We're All Mad Here. Seriously.

Well.


Friday night was...interesting.


The plan was that after work, I would pick up Andrea and we'd go eat sushi at Blue Fish for dinner and then see Alice In Wonderland.





That was the plan.


Work that day was a little stressfull. Okay a lot stressful, but not enough to prevent me from dreaming of my favorite sushi roll, The Hungry Roll, at Blue Fish. It is SOOOOO delicious, any roll topped with lobster has to be good right?


Why it took me 25 years to try sushi I will never know, but it is food of the Gods.


I think the Sushi Gods were conspiring against me for my lack of sushi interest for so many years because complication after complication developed at work that day. As 5:00 rolled around, I started getting nervous, I couldn't leave work until I met my deadline, which, at the time, was NOW!


I was supposed to pick Andrea up at 6:00, and as I watched the clock tick away on my computer while progress continued to slow, my dreams of sushi began to diminish.


6:00 came and 6:00 went.


Damn you Sushi Gods.


Finally I was able to leave at 7:00. SEVEN! The movie started at 7:45 so I was racing the clock driving straight from work to Andrea's house, about twenty minutes.


I was a mess at this point. My hair was all frizzy from trying to pull it out all day, my makeup had pretty much worn off, and my heart was pounding out of my chest.


Shit. I don't know how to get to her house from the freeway! So she tries to explain directions to me over the phone. This proved to be very difficult for her to do, being that she DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES! How many years have you lived there now Annie?


Serioiusly, the directions I got went something like this:


"So you turn at the light, then there's a church and then a few streets down from that there's a street sign that kind of sticks out a little bit more then the others and you turn there. Oh, but when I said turn at the light, I meant the second light, not the first. Okay, so then the road winds around and you turn at a creepy looking house. Then there are big houses and you make another turn and keep driving around until you get to my house."


Huh.


I only took two wrong turns out of three and only went in one full circle before I reached her house. Do you realize how many spooky houses there are in that neighborhood? Sheesh.


I honk as I'm pulling into the driveway.


Wait.


Wait.


Okay, I think, maybe she didn't hear me. So I leave the car running as I hop out and go knock on the door. Halelujah she answers the door!


Sigh, relief!






While she puts her dog away I run back out to the car. In my haste, I grab the handle to my car door and pull extra hard expecting it to open. But no, I almost rip my shoulder out of it's socket.


The door doesn't budget. I tug again.


Nothin.


I look closer and noticed that the door wasn't shut all the way so I thought if I could just pull a little bit harder....


Nope. Oh, I know! I'll push it all the way shut and then it will open.


Nada.


We are officially locked out of my car.


My car is running.


I'm hitting my car door.


Andrea is trying not to laugh.


Like my keys, my phone and purse are locked in the car so I borrow Andrea's phone and try to call Al. Of course she has to have one of those fancy touch phones that I have no idea how to use.


I try dialing three times.


"You must dial the area code when dialing this number..."


Damn you operator!


"Andrea! How do you hang this up?!"


This goes on until finally I'm able to get through to Al.


Al was not happy.


But he comes, and brings my keys. Andrea and I were waiting inside the house when we hear a knock on the door.


Yay! Finally, every thing's going to be okay. I think.


Oh no. My car keys aren't actually real keys, they are just car remotes that you stick straight into your ignition. Because my other remote was already in the ignition, the spare remote couldn't override it.


So the doors wouldn't unlock. The trunk wouldn't pop open. The spare remote was useless.


And the car was still running.


Then, my predominate brilliance takes control and a light bulb appears above my head. There's an emergency key in the remote! Take the key out, take the key out!





Others were doubtful.


I knew it would work.


What d'ya know, the brilliant blonde saves the day. (The day that she totally ruined)


With no time for goodbyes, Andrea and I hop in the car and as soon as the doors are shut I try to put my seat belt on but, like the car door, it wouldn't budge. I let it go and try again.


Stuck.


Third time, stuck.


Andrea busts up.


I bust up.


We made it just in time for the previews.



Was it worth it? Yes.


Why?


Because after the movie we walked into Blue Fish 5 minutes before they closed and ate to our hearts' content.


The Sushi God's were very pleased.